This pic is from my one and only IVF cycle. Very few know of my fertility struggles. Some will learn about it for the first time when reading this. I can't begin to describe the secrecy and shame that surrounded the two years of my life when I was beyond consumed with trying to have a baby. I was smiling on the outside while tearfully pleading with God behind closed doors for the chance to have at least one more.

 See.... I had two boys one year apart in my early 20s. I used to joke that I could get pregnant from just being touched. I always knew that I wanted a big family and thought I'd just continue having kids until God decided otherwise. I went through a divorce, putting my family expansion on hold, and when I got remarried ten years later, we immediately started "trying" for another baby. The doctors told us that it wouldn't be an issue, but to check in after six months. Those six months quickly came and went. So, we went to my gynecologist to get further testing. I clearly remember the day that I was told it would be a miracle if I conceived naturally again. We poured tens of thousands of dollars into doctors' visits, surgery, more testing, supplements, and treatments, to no avail. It wasn't meant to be.

After trying everything else, we decided to go all-in and try IVF. Walking in, we were so naïve. The first thing they don't tell you is that there's so much more than retrieving eggs, collecting sperm, placing them in a petri dish to fertilize, and transferring an embryo back to you. There are medications on top of medications, everything from birth control pills to suppress ovulation to hormone injections to stimulate your ovaries to a trigger shot to trigger ovulation. Did I mention most insurance companies don't cover the cost of any of this? They also don't mention the mental, emotional, and hormonal rollercoaster you're on the entire time. I often felt like I was having an outer body experience, like “who are you?” After going through all of this, we just knew that we'd get pregnant. How could we not? What no one ever told us were the true success rates or that those numbers were only for getting a positive pregnancy test, not actually sustaining the pregnancy and birthing a baby. I'm moving ahead of myself though… We got through the medications and injections, and the doctor was able to retrieve five eggs (more than expected). However, as soon as the sperm was injected into my eggs, my eggs went “poof” (the doctor’s description). That was where my fertility journey pretty much stopped. We looked into some other fertility clinics, but the timing and emotions were never right.

Although, I didn't birth a physical baby, I birthed my baby, Bloom Birthing & Fertility. While the name of my business fits perfectly for a birthing business, it means so much more. I've had a passion for birth for as far back as I can remember, but it manifested itself through my fertility journey and for that I will be forever grateful. My path has allowed me to walk alongside so many others to help them complete their families in ways that I had could've never dreamt of.

If you are interested in receiving fertility support as you’re on your path to parenthood, please don’t hesitate to contact me.